Blog #FAIL

Well hello there.  Utah was pretty much a disaster.  I at lots of carbs and desserts and loved every minute of it.  I did exercise everyday (FUCK FUCK FUCK the elliptical!!!) and I exhibited some self control when it came to the amount of junk I ate (i.e. splitting desserts, passing on cookies with the expectation of having dessert later, etc).  Anyway no real regrets; I was less than 138 when I got back...

My sister's bday party.  I didn't eat a lot, but I drank a lot #kanyeshrug.  Sunday night when I got back in town I was craving falafel chips so I bought some, which is fine... except then on Monday I still had falafel chips and I finished them off.  Sigh.  I think, though not very cost effective, it is best for me to buy single servings of things I shouldn't eat a lot of... So basically I took yesterday off of my diet.  Now, one good thing is I went to a concert last night and when I got home I was famished and had decided to get a burger.  However, when I got close to home I decided I would rather have something from the grocery store deli.  I ate a small tub of macaroni salad which was about 300 cals and (part of) a sandwich, so the calories may have been about the same, but I'm glad that I am at the point where I am not desiring fast food.  I honestly can't remember the last time I had a burger and fries (Mighty Fine maybe?).  Ok so a bit of progress there.

Today I ate like an angel (I'm 137 with 24 days to go for the weight loss challenge), except I skipped dinner (mostly out of sleepiness/laziness).  So tomorrow I will aim for three balanced meals.  I read that a good way to lose fat is to do the 'alternate day fasting,' high calorie days alternated with low calorie days so your body doesn't start hanging on to fat, so I think it will be good to stick with the second cycle.  I missed my workout this morning (due to being up late last night), but I want to try to get some good runs in regularly (T, Th, F, S/Su) along with my X-train workouts.  I know I lost a lot of weight in 2009 when I was half marathon training and counting cals (<1500 a day) so maybe I should think about moving in that direction.  Also I ran with my friend after class yesterday.  It's not really feasible with my class (UT) schedule but her pace is a bit faster and I felt a bit sore today which is good.

That's it for now.  The journey continues!

Strategizing

Wow, where did the time go??  Today is the first day of the second cycle but I have been cheating all over the place :o(.  My boyfriend's visit and Valentine's day just sent me spiraling out of control.  Last Friday, I ate well and then had tacos and a beer.  I felt good about that.  1 cheat meal and drinking in moderation.  Saturday wasn't so bad either.  We went to the movies so I got a small popcorn, and went to lunch where I got a 'healthier' option (relative to what else was offered).  I didn't eat all my rice and picked around the butter infused green beans.  But then we went to Whole Foods for dessert.  Dessert = disaster.  I had a cupcake and part of my boyfriend's brownie and a bite of his cake.  And I had one beer.  This wasn't terrible, but I think it got me back on my sweets.  Sunday we went to The Egg and I.  I looked at the menu ahead of time but decided to give myself freedom to eat whatever.  What I ordered was ~650 cals.  But the bread and potatoes that came with it brought that number up to ~1250!!  Still under 1500... but that evening I wanted dessert.  I settle for a slice of apple pie with a small tub (like 1/2 cup) of ice cream.  I think this was good because my bad choices for one day weren't rolling over into the next day in the form of leftovers.

So Monday I should have recommitted.  I think I did.  I will have to go look at my food log, but I think I did.  And then Valentines Day came.  I bought Valentines for my department as usual but as a result I ate a lot of them.  I could NEVER have a candy bowl.   Then someone gave me a cupcake.  It was fucking delicious, but I've been craving sweets ever since.  Yesterday I did ok (I talked myself out of eating out for dinner) but today I had another cupcake (also delicious).  So today, at 10:48 pm, I recommit.  My sister's birthday party is on Saturday, so I will try to eat well until then.  My goal is not to eat anything sweet until Monday.  Hopefully by then I won't want sweets anymore.  I will be out of town next week, so I'm really going to have to make a concerted effort to eat right.  I know I can do it!  A friend of mine has given up sweets and alcohol for the semester.  I asked him how he does it and he said he weighs his long term goals against the short term benefits and that helps him.  Yesterday it helped me eat in for dinner, so I need to really think about what my long term goals are.  That and why I want to eat right...

To start, I want to weight 120-something because I want to lose fat, gain definition, and get the body I've dreamed of having for years.

I have conquered my working out goals.  I exercise 5x a week, and I have gotten significantly stronger over the last year.  That feels really good.  I am starting to see more definition in my legs.  That feels good too.  If I can reduce my body fat I know I will feel great.  I got some of that this summer even though I wasn't where I wanted to be.  So yeah, I want to eat right, pass on the candy, pass on the booze, and follow 17 Day Diet as closely as possible so I can lose that fat more quickly and focus on maintaining my new weight.  Short term I want to get in the high 120s.  Long term I want to get in the low 120s and stay there.

One week away!

Ok I am slipping on my posting, it's been a busy week!  I did, in fact, run an extra couple of miles on Tuesday to negate (some of) my cookies :o).  Unfortunately I was so exhausted from my double workout (825 cals) when I got home that I couldn't muster up the energy to move, much less cook dinner that night...  Running definitely is an energy sap for me.

Today I only drank half of my energy shot before Tabata.  I don't think it was a good idea.  I was definitely tired, thought I looked and felt strong.  I am seeing some great definition in my arms and 25 lb. weights on chest feel right.  Challenging but not too much.  Jump-roping has gotten easier too.  A fast 150 is completely doable now.  Not easy, but not mentally daunting either.

My boyfriend came by last night on his way to another city (conference) and I don't know what it is about our fellowship, but neither of us wanted anything boneless or skinless, lol.  We went to Wingstop.  I skipped the fries and ate 6 wings (~316 cals according to the web, though the pool of grease in the bottom of the carton leaves me a bit skeptical).  I think I don't have to forgo eating out with my buddies, the important thing is to do it sparingly and smartly.  I feel way better about Wingstop than I did about the cookies, that's for sure.

Down to 134 :o), almost where I was last summer (130)- but chest pressing 25s with ease now!

Cheating... No, really

Ok so one might argue that peppermints, York peppermint patties, and Kind bars are not terrible cheats.  But no one could say the same for cookies.  Real, sugary cookies topped with sugary frosting.  Today (yesterday) I had four.  I did good at first.  I had one.  And then I had another.  And, well, you can count.  I skipped dinner in hopes of at least keeping my calorie count down for the day.  This probably isn't the healthiest way to manage my weight, but it's not the worst...

I skipped wearing my hrm today as I realized that the number doesn't really make a difference.  I don't do any more or any less because of it, at least I haven't been.  Anyway, hopefully I can get back on track for the rest of the week so my cookies can average out to one per day :o).  I'm also going to try to put in some extra miles on the pavement.  Just a few more days til I can have rice!  Lol, never thought I'd be so excited for complex carbs, ha ha.

One week down. 10!

Well today was good.  I had a light breakfast and then ran errands, leaving me unfed until after 3:00.  I picked up some fish from Whole Foods ($$$$) and a few things from Sprouts.  I was looking for a vegetable snack but came up with some fat free cheese and eggplant...  I did see the Kind bars at Sprouts so I know where to find them.

I figured I would eat some junk food at the Super Bowl watch location so I was happy to have only eaten 600 cals before I went over there.  It turns out there was nothing that was incredibly appealing to me (i.e. cupcakes, lol) so it wasn't really hard to drink my water and pass on the (dog-saliva-infested) chips and veggie trays.  As a side note, why do white non-black people REFUSE to eat off of plates.  There's this thing we do in the black community.  You grab a plate, pour some chips out of the chip bag onto it (you don't even have to touch the chips!!), and then spoon some salsa/dip onto the plate.  You do not dig into the chip bag and then dip your chip into the jar of sauce!!  Yes, I know you're not double dipping, but it doesn't matter.  STOP EATING OUT OF THE JAR!!!  I feel like if you are not sitting at a table with 3 of your closest friends/ partner, this is a no brainer.  On more than one occasion at social gatherings at my school I have been with complete strangers who insist on eating out of communal bowls.  I just find it... socially inconsiderate.  Ok, so I was not really interested in eating what was available, which is good.  I figured if anything, I would drink a beer.  A SINGLE beer, which I am now capable of :o).  The hostess asked if I would eat some queso and I said maybe.  She made it.  I didn't.  I thought of my friend from the movie theatre :oD.  And then my friend walked in with Girl Scout Cookies, lol.  By this point I had already decided to stop and pick up a snack from the store.  This is not the first time this has happened.  When I save up my calories for a social gathering, in a way I look forward to the junk food.  So if I don't get it, I feel like I have earned the right to go get something else.  The good thing is I only ate 4 cookies (2 servings).  It wasn't even really difficult.  Yes moderation!!  However I went to the store afterward and picked up some York Peppermint Patties, so now I have brought this stuff back in my house.  I would rather have gotten the fat free peppermints... I may have to hide these from myself.  I have eaten 7 (a serving size is 3), reasoning that as long as I stay under 1500 cals I'm ok.  However that's 350 calories I would otherwise not have had.  Sigh...

No workout today.  I have definitely earned my day off.  Glad that I went up in weight on Friday.  I'm definitely going to try to go heavy on legs from now on.  I was a tad sore yesterday but not noticeably.  I'm happy with the strength I've gained.  I may try to add in an extra mile on my runs this week.  We'll see if I can balance it with my busy work schedule.

Diet:
1390

Cheater :o(

Today I ran the Color Run 5k.  I would have had a blast but it was super muddy and I couldn't quite let go of my fear of falling.  I didn't run the whole thing (uphill, in the mud is a really good workout), but I didn't let myself walk more than I deemed acceptable.  I may need to get another workout in tomorrow...  Going in I felt pretty determined to stick to my diet.  I ate an egg and drank a Yakult before I got to the race.  I ate an apple afterwards.  But then I decided I should pick up some food from the amazing assortment of vendors, so I grabbed 3 Kind bars.  And then I ate them :o(.  Now it wasn't the worst cheat in the world.  The ingredients are whole and healthy, and not full of carbohydrates either (for the sake of Cycle 1).  The problem is I ate all 3, nearly 600 extra calories for the day.  What did I learn?  Just stay away.  I stayed away from the pizza yesterday and wasn't tempted by it.  I was not tempted by the vendors until I started grabbing product.  Anyway, to make up, I tried to eat pretty light the rest of the day.  I am still under 1500 cals, though at a fairly higher count than I have been in the past week.

This morning I found that not only had I failed to lose weight since yesterday, I had gained a little (136.something).  It has to be the soup (sodium).  The soup is now gone but I can't be discouraged by the scale.  I know weight loss has to be a slow process and even if I eat soup everyday, the low calories will result in weight loss if I am consistent and patient.  136 is still 2 lbs. less than I weighed at the beginning of the challenge.

Workout:

5K

Diet:

~1365

13... or 12, I guess

Well I have followed my diet to the letter (minus too many peppermints) for a full five days.  Today was the first day I really felt tired but I think it was mostly mental.  Physically I feel pretty good.  I had a great workout this morning.  I really pushed the weight since we were doing legs (2 35 lbs for hip carry squats, 2 30 lbs for depth squats on the last set).  I think a lot of that is mental too.  I think I was able to keep good form.  Hopefully I'll be super sore tomorrow.

There is always pizza at one of the monthly meetings I attend.  They normally have Papa John's which I don't really like that much, but today they had Pizza Hut which I love.  However, I am definitely feeling the determination of a new eating plan.  It really wasn't hard for me to pass on it (I wasn't hungry- I never am, but normally I eat anyway), but I found myself a bit self conscious about NOT eating, oddly enough.  The other week my friend came to the movies with me and some others and she didn't eat a thing.  I kinda admired her willpower.  I guess I have it too, it's just not as natural, or at least it doesn't seem like it is.

This morning I was the same weight as yesterday :o(.  I think it was all the salt from the soup along with not enough water.  Today I had the soup twice, but I did try to drink more water...  This is why I am going to have to eventually reduce my weigh-ins...

Workout:
TRX Strength, 345 cals

Diet:
1103 cals

14!

Day 4 was a success.  I was so busy with work I really didn't think much about eating.  I was eager to get home to my leftover soup, though, ha ha.  I ate a lot of gum, but I still figure it's better than just about anything else I could be snacking on. My calorie counts are really low, but I feel like I'm eating enough.  I'm not super tired or anything like that so...  I suppose I could try eating more meals since the meals I am eating are so light (though filling).  I was 135.something this morning.  Still very encouraged by the daily decreases and determined to complete the entire 17 days.  I am once again out of peppermints.  I think they helped me get through this week but I am not going to buy anymore.

Workouts are going well.  I ran again today.  I'm going to take tomorrow off so I can make my friend's proposal and so that I'll be "rested" for the race on Saturday.  I think I can definitely handle 3 runs each week, T/Th/Fr and maybe even Su.

Workout:
X-train Tabata (wall drives were killer): 345 cals
3 mile run: 290 cals

Diet:
970 cals (300ish from peppermints :-/)

15...

These days are going by so slow, lol.  136.8 this morning!  Can't wait to see what I am on Saturday.  I was trying to weigh in just twice a week but it's so satisfying to see the numbers go down and down.

Today was not as hard as yesterday, probably because I didn't run.  However, I was pretty hungry this afternoon.  I got through it with the help of a lot of gum, ha ha.  One thing I do like is that temptations don't seem so tempting.  Yesterday I was in HEB, nearly 8 hours past my last meal, and being around all that food didn't tempt me.  Now had the samples been out I may not have been so successful at staying focused, but they weren't and I was.  17 days seems like forever, but I know I can do this!

I thawed out ground turkey for a change of pace (I have eaten a lot of fish fillets lately, lol) and decided to look up some recipes.  I came across one for taco soup.  It called for a few ingredients that aren't on the list of foods for the first cycle, but mostly had things that are.  I loosely made the recipe, omitting those things that aren't and adding in a few things that are.  It was really really good!  I worried it was a bit high in sodium (the broth and taco seasoning were low sodium, and the soup didn't taste too salty, but it definitely didn't taste not-salty), but it was definitely low calorie.  I keep recalculating and rounding up, but I think each serving was less than 200 cals.  I like the idea of using things on the list to make my own (modified) recipes.  Since spices are a freebie, there's so much I can make.  The possibilities are endless!

Taco Soup:
Brown 1/2 lb. of ground turkey.  Add in some onion.  Put turkey/onion mix into a large pot.  Add a can (small) of Rotel, 1/2 package of taco seasoning, 1/2 package of ranch dressing mix, half a package of frozen vegetables, and chicken broth.  (I will also probably add water next time).  Bring to a boil, then simmer for ~20 minutes.

Workout:
TRX Strength, -200 cals

Diet:
900 cals