Strategizing

Wow, where did the time go??  Today is the first day of the second cycle but I have been cheating all over the place :o(.  My boyfriend's visit and Valentine's day just sent me spiraling out of control.  Last Friday, I ate well and then had tacos and a beer.  I felt good about that.  1 cheat meal and drinking in moderation.  Saturday wasn't so bad either.  We went to the movies so I got a small popcorn, and went to lunch where I got a 'healthier' option (relative to what else was offered).  I didn't eat all my rice and picked around the butter infused green beans.  But then we went to Whole Foods for dessert.  Dessert = disaster.  I had a cupcake and part of my boyfriend's brownie and a bite of his cake.  And I had one beer.  This wasn't terrible, but I think it got me back on my sweets.  Sunday we went to The Egg and I.  I looked at the menu ahead of time but decided to give myself freedom to eat whatever.  What I ordered was ~650 cals.  But the bread and potatoes that came with it brought that number up to ~1250!!  Still under 1500... but that evening I wanted dessert.  I settle for a slice of apple pie with a small tub (like 1/2 cup) of ice cream.  I think this was good because my bad choices for one day weren't rolling over into the next day in the form of leftovers.

So Monday I should have recommitted.  I think I did.  I will have to go look at my food log, but I think I did.  And then Valentines Day came.  I bought Valentines for my department as usual but as a result I ate a lot of them.  I could NEVER have a candy bowl.   Then someone gave me a cupcake.  It was fucking delicious, but I've been craving sweets ever since.  Yesterday I did ok (I talked myself out of eating out for dinner) but today I had another cupcake (also delicious).  So today, at 10:48 pm, I recommit.  My sister's birthday party is on Saturday, so I will try to eat well until then.  My goal is not to eat anything sweet until Monday.  Hopefully by then I won't want sweets anymore.  I will be out of town next week, so I'm really going to have to make a concerted effort to eat right.  I know I can do it!  A friend of mine has given up sweets and alcohol for the semester.  I asked him how he does it and he said he weighs his long term goals against the short term benefits and that helps him.  Yesterday it helped me eat in for dinner, so I need to really think about what my long term goals are.  That and why I want to eat right...

To start, I want to weight 120-something because I want to lose fat, gain definition, and get the body I've dreamed of having for years.

I have conquered my working out goals.  I exercise 5x a week, and I have gotten significantly stronger over the last year.  That feels really good.  I am starting to see more definition in my legs.  That feels good too.  If I can reduce my body fat I know I will feel great.  I got some of that this summer even though I wasn't where I wanted to be.  So yeah, I want to eat right, pass on the candy, pass on the booze, and follow 17 Day Diet as closely as possible so I can lose that fat more quickly and focus on maintaining my new weight.  Short term I want to get in the high 120s.  Long term I want to get in the low 120s and stay there.